Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Help me build a mountain from this little pot of clay

Spurious Endeavors or Ugh! Ew!! Holy Fuck!! What’s in that Bowl?!??! is a story about something really fascinating if you're a beetle-type bug and have no prior knowledge or understanding of the vastness of the literary world. These ignorant, uncultured insects deserve to be as ashamed as they appear to be during the daily bases of their unfortunate, truncated lifespans. But as a wise man and a stupid man and many average men have said in their time, we're all friends here, even the beetle-type bugs of the world who never made it through Joyce's "Ulysses" without dying before the end. And even those were just the suicides.

So while beetle-type bugs have limited access to stories like these, where they happen to be featured prominently in the background, one can feel sorry for them on their own time, in private, on the hood of a pickup truck, in court, the ball pit, your grandmother's urn, or not at all. Or not at all.

Remember, we're all friends here. Which is why you and your favorite beetle-type bug should frequent the past modernist(s) and look out for redux versions of Spurious Endeavors or Ugh! Ew!! Holy Fuck!! What’s in that Bowl?!??! Parts 1 through 8 with additional deleted words, more allusions to marine biology and the threat of extinction beckoning sea otters and how congress has recently stepped in to help, and top secret golf tips my uncle makes me pay for. Also, do your frequenting and keep your pretty almond eyes out for the little-anticipated, illegibly written, sour-tasting Part 9 which reveals more secrets about your child's infidelity to the family pet. She's been petting all over town, if you know what I mean, which you do, because that's what I mean.

Remember. We're all beetles here. Even your friends. Never forget it.